after 3 weeks of sleepless nights, finally my sleep goes normal again. an infected sebaceos cyst at my back was d culprit. my doctor decided to use the needles to take out that big lump as it doesnt react anymore to antibiotics. going to operating room was scary but the relief it gave after the lump subsides is undeniably great.

Good things are coming

I dont know why but i feel very positive in my life now, i feel that good things are coming soon in my life. the person who was putting me down and makes me feel am never good in anything i do is now out of my life. I feel recharged once again and now am back with my whole self and unexpectedly am happier now that i will be on the real me again. Somehow, that relationship tied me into something which i know am not really happy about.

I dont love you when i accepted you ,bad start..i know...and am sorry for that. I have nothing to do, my good friend is leaving soon so i just feel why not, i can try, lets see where it will lead me, your head over heels on me anyway. So i went with the flow trying to make you feel that am loving the relationship while trying to convince also myself that this is the man am waiting for.

Early in the relationship, i already like to get out, i know, i really dont like you..hindi ikaw ang hinahanap kong lalaki, the sophistication am looking for is not there.We have different world and different view on things. But like what many elders say, its better to get someone who has a bigger amount of love to you than someone you love more so i continued convincing myself as you continue showering me with love and nice words and making me feel guilty every time am trying to leave you. But i know you always have doubt on me. But you are wrong with your doubt, there's no other man in my life, the doubt is within me. Am trying to convince my self that I love you.

Things got worse on you, you were put to jail, had to stay longer in other country, you lost your job when u went back ,but i didn't leave you. i dont like to be told that am only good as long as you're in good state. I stayed with you when you were so down, i felt the responsibility of taking care of you and so i did even at the same time i have to take care also myself as i'm stepping up to the ladder of my career. Thats relationship, walang iwanan through thick and thin. I sticked into that kahit nahihirapan na ako pero kinaya ko lahat wag mo lang maramdaman na pinababayaan kita on your worse days. Hindi ako ganun.

Am bad i argue with you but i always feel i need to answer as there are words that i think the other way around, am sorry again with that. My personality is maybe too strong for me to accept all you say. you left, i cried, i was sorry. am already used to you despite of the arguments. i missed you. maybe i already love you.. am still not sure. i would like to think that too much emotion and time were already invested and so is hard to get away from the person you used to be with.and that is me to you..

your love for me is too strong, you came back. am already reaching the top of my career. you are still very unstable career-wise. i helped you,supported you, took care of you, i know you will soon be able to stand up. i was not in a hurry but you were in a hurry.

now, youre there, got new job that will make you stable. you left me.same story packing up things etc. but while you are packing i was there in the parlor having my nails done, having a good time, pampering myself, was unscathed of the situation.

i cried bit by bit, yes but not the same as the first time. my personality became much stronger and probably because i became more confident with myself. and i feel more enriched now that i was able to do what you deprived me on doing when we were still together. i get tired of you controlling me and always accusing me of things i never do and think of.


to end this, id like to quote Jennifer Lopez for the reason of her separation with anthony...

"It's not that I didn't love myself before. Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself — if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now."

and so .. i like the makeover physically , mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially.. i love you more now Irza!

AM BACK

yes am back to blogging.. am loveless again so am back to my original love... photo editing and blogging...

after a not-so painful breakup, yes its not, coz maybe i know its coming anyway but just for the sake of what so called breakup, i need to feel that am hurting..and anyway the sad part of it is only that i have to go back again to caring of myself alone.. the good part is am used to it even if i had a partner before so nothing really changed at all

a makeover! time for myself as i feel deprived when i was still with somebody who was financially stressed and i have to take the burden of all the financial matters for us.

Makeover 1:
New clothes - my partner before was a bit conservative and buying clothes based from where am comfortable and which i think fits to my personality was kind of hard to do. now am on my own, i went shopping and bought all i love to wear.

Makeover 2:
Manicure (Nail art) and pedicure - my pedicure is maintained twice a month but i realized i also need to pamper my hands coz anyway i dont need to wash clothes and plates anymore. I love the nail art and ill maintain this from now on


Makeover 3:

Curly hair - while everyone is so engrossed with rebonding, id like to be different, i went to the salon to get permed hair. I love how my hair is done, just a bit of mousse and ready to go.now everyone in the office likes to be curly.. am now a trendsetter ..

Makeover 4:

Braces - i texted an old friend for the number of his dentist sister, he gave me the number by wednesday and saturday i visited the clinic for the checkup and olah, sunday i have my braces. i love it, its gives sophistication and also in just few weeks with braces, it helped me to be on diet. two birds in one hit- it will straighten my teeth and sametime i lose 3 kilos already.. not bad

whats next to do:

makeover 5- a surprise .. still in the planning stage but i already contacted some people for this

others things to do:
i always love travelling and having good vacation.. that to follow soon..

am not happy

bakit kailangang may kahati? hindi ba pwedeng ako lang?

Hmm 2

Sa isang malayong lugar habang ikaw ay kasama
Tayo ay magkatabi sa malambot na kama
Aking pinamamasdan ang iyong itsura
At hinaplos ng palad ang hubog at pigura

Sa isang sandali pa labi ay nagkita
Tamis ng halik sayo’y pinadama
Init ng pag ibig ang na ating nadarama
Ang sarap ng gabi pagkat ikaw ay kasama

Unti – unti saplot mo’y hinubad
Hanggang ang alindog sa kin ay tumambad
Ganda ng katawan na lubhang nakakagigil
Ramdam ko si Juan ay di na papipigil.

Init na nadarama ating pagsasaluhan
Sa buong magdamag pawang kaligayahan
Bugso ng damdamin mahirap pigilin
Sa kagaya mong masarap mahalin.

Ilang beses nangyari sa lalim ng gabi
Ikaw ay angkinin at halikan ang labi
Bakas ang saya sa ating mga mata
Sa pagmamahalan na ating pinakita

hmm

bakit ganito ang pakiramdam ko ay iba
sa tuwing ikaw ay nasa aking gunita
mga pangyayari ng lumipas na gabi
palaging sa isipan ay laging katabi..

sa aking trabaho ikaw ay kasama
ikaw ang nagbibigay sa akin ng saya
kahit anong hirap ang aking dinaranas
sa mga katagang binibitawan ako ay sumasaya

Unpopular Name

My name Irza is 62,303rd name in USA. least in the rank in the most used name?? At least my name is still unique







Get yours at www.pokemyname.com

My worth in $$$$

Am worth exactly $905,320 or in peso (exchange rate: $1 = P47.75) = 43,229,030, well...

have a shot at www.humanForSale.com and have fun!

Bato Ka.. isipin mo

Bakit ka pa rin nasasaktan?
Di ba bato ka na?
Sadyang yan ang kapalaran mo
Tanggapin mo

Mahal ka? oo.. sabi nila
pero kailangan nilang umalis sa tabi mo.

Para kanino?
sa yo? sa kanya? sa kanila?

Ewan... maging matigas ka na lang

going naturals

i remember when an officemate asked me if i wear make ups. i said no. He said then my beauty is natural..

Probably, the real best things in life are those which are naturals. Food which are cooked using fresh meat/fish and vegetables are the best foods served on our tables. It's not only delicious but also nutritious.

Currently,whats added in my things which are also my best buys now are those which are naturals with no harsh ingredients.
1. Marietta's gugo - i have falling hair and thus using the highly commercial shampoos become more harmful on my hair. when i used this gugo, i barely see one falling hair.

2. Himalaya Soothing body lotion- this product originally manufactured in india and because of its positive effectiveness, its circulated now in different parts of the globe. Recently, its introduced now in the philippines. Himalaya is 100% herbal actives which makes it safe to my sensitive skin.( yes, i do have sensitive skin- btw,thanks to my good allergologist).

3. Himalaya hair protein cream - when i have to buy my second bottle of the lotion, i got addicted with himalaya that i also bought this hair protein cream. Two months before, i went to the salon for a protein treatment. With my new himalaya protein cream, i can have a protein treatment everyday.
- Ingredients: Chickpea (Cicer arietinum) 6 mg, Indian Gooseberry (Emblica officinalis) 6 mg, Thistles (Eclipta alba) 4 mg, Wheatgerm (Triticum sativum) 4 mg.

Himalaya products are still quite hard to find here. Luckily, there's already a small stand for himalaya products in SM Megamall at the ground floor. Some products maybe not be available coz of out of stock but give your number and they will call you once the product arrived.


4. HBC Body Recipe Feminine Wash (w/guava extract)- very subtle that you cannot feel the strong ingredients like other feminine wash.

Friendster or Facebook

Currently, i have 163 friends in friendster while only 32 in facebook... this answers which is which and why is why

Yoog infected

I found this... words asking for help to remove yoog

"everytime nalang pupunta ako ng site napupunta sa yoog site na to? paano nangyari? kahit i-remove ko siya sa search engines, pumupunta pa din. hindi ko naman siya ini-enter, hindi ko nga alam na may site na ganito. virus ba to? paano ko to tanggalin na hindi na mapupunta sa site na to? please help!" - from one user of femalenetwork.

Same as mine, when i opened my mozilla, it prompt to yoog which is like a search engine. Luckily, i found in the internet how to remove it. One just have to download and run the OTL and paste the codes that i found. And it worked!!

Cluck this link for the step-by-step procedure for removing the yoog! Thanks to the geeks!
http://www.geekstogo.com/forum/How-to-remove-Yoog-Search-Blueskyadagency-Contextual-ads-Snappyads-t238947.html&pid=1556421